JUN

Been strolling through back to back illnesses, while hunting down odd jobs. Quite a bit of landscaping and assorted farm work, lots of working with my hands. Turning down more writing gigs however. Unless it's helping a friend I'm just not interested. I am living without money, without generating bills, and am just able to give what I am bringing in to my surviving immediate family members. I am setting and living by my own standards. I am spending much time meditating in the woods as well, specifically on the land once owned by my grandparents. It feels like too many persons are waiting for me to make a move, but I am falling into hermitage mode, falling into sponge mode. I try to spend as much time in the future as in the past, though the draw to be a participating member of society diminishes from one moment to the next. I do not want to save the world. I do not want to destroy the world. I believe either aim is missing the point entirely.